Our day in Court

Our Day in court ...

Our day in court started out with some confusion.

We knew we were scheduled for a 12 noon court appearance so we were dressed and ready to roll by 11 am. Then a knock came at the door and it was our facilitator who informed us there was a schedule change. Our judge apparently had a criminal case that was running over time and we were to appear at 4 pm. Would we like to do something else?

Our first idea was to go see Tamara but she was a half hour away in the suburbs of Tbilisi and we wouldn't have enough time as we needed to change out of our court outfits and therefore would need time to dress again as the court house was about another half hour away. That would have given us maybe an hour with our daughter. So we decided to go site seeing and visit her after court figuring we'd have more bonding time.

The thought of not seeing her at all today was heart breaking especially since I promised her we'd be back to play today.

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So we went site seeing and visited a few of the beautiful Churches in the area.

The first was an adventure just getting to it. Our drivers car wouldn't make the steep climb up the cobblestone narrow street so we started out walking and then Anna our cook / nanny managed to flags down a very courageous taxi driver who barely got us there. The street reminded me of the famous one in San Francisco except you add in the cobblestone, some very impressive pot holes and no turns in the road to break it up it was strait up. Yeah... I know where is the video? Well I was holding on for dear life and we really didn't think it was going to be such impressive driving...lol

Anyway when we got to the church we strolled on in and I was stopped for not having a head cover. Something I haven't had to think about in years in the USA.

I was handed a scarf and then informed if we weren't Georgian Orthodox we weren't allowed to take any pictures. Bruce had the video camera and the woman wanted his disc even though he wasn't filming inside. Anna said no and we left.

Next church we knew the drill so I covered my head coming in... when in Rome do as the Romans do... I can appreciate that. This church didn't have a problem with photography but I thought it would be disrespectful to all the people that were praying so I didn't. Flash and all.

Leaving Church # 2 we ran into another family that was there to adopt a 9 month old little girl.

Very nice couple from Georgia a (our state).

OK.. time to race back to change for court... first a quick trip to a notary and then we drive to the court house.

At the court house we had to wait for well over an hour. Outside in the car. No court house lobby? Not allowed in until you're called. The other family went in first. We waited and waited. Then I needed to how shall I say? Powder my nose? Still in the waiting mode in the parking lot.. I'm told we can't use the court house bathroom by one of the translators. The driver and translator drive us to a western restaurant and that agrees to let us use their facility. Later I am told by the other American adoptive mom that the bathrooms in the court house are Asian style. So I'm thankful we were taken to another location and then realized it wasn't that you can't as in not allowed but you can't as in you really shouldn't try this in a dress with pantyhose. lol Yes Filomina I can hear the giggles all the way from Georgia so stop that..lol

By the way.. Filomina can you email me one of Dominic's pictures. People are asking to see him. ;o) Flag the email so I can find it.

Our court hearing went very well but it was a little nerve wrecking as we really had to rely on the translator.. who was very good.

We are officially Tamara Katarina's parents. And our wait time was waved thanks to the glowing recommendation from the Ministry of Education's representative and our lawyer who were both very nice.. Woohoo!

Tomorrow we have to go get some things notarized and visit the US embassy in Tbilisi as we still have the missing finger print issue? If we can straighten that out we'll be coming home early if not we have to wait until it is straightened out. Could it run over time.. yeah it could.. so at this point we have no idea.. really... but she's ours.

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We did finally get to visit Tamara. We left her on such a positive note yesterday I was expecting to have a nice visit. Tamara was again so shy and wanted nothing to do with us until the end... when she tolerated us. Problem was yesterday her foster mom wasn't home... today she was. Tamara is very bonded to this woman and I can tell she is very fond of Tamara.

She tried but I think couldn't help herself from taking the nurturing role. When I tried to feed her she took over after the first fork full, when I tried to talk to her there were about 6 people talking to her. At one point they left the room but there was an open door and Tamara soon ran to see what they were doing. When she put her to bed and Tamara cried... I asked for her glow worm sea horse so I could comfort her and the foster mom and daughter ran in and took over.

Tamara at this point was exhausted an hour past her bedtime.

Tomorrow morning we hope to take her and Anna to the park to play. After which we will return her to the foster home do our legal running around and return to pick her up.

It's going to be a rough ride I'm sure but we need to start bonding with her and after tonight I don't see how this will work at the foster home.

Our little girl is so popular even the neighbors starting showing up. At one point we had about a dozen people in the room. A nice informative visit however not helpful.

Our first night / nights together will be rough ones. She's very leery at this point.

She does understand every thing she hears... that's good and bad. I realized tonight that they've been talking about the transition in front of her. Not to her but about her.

Imagine you're 3 and you hear that you're leaving with these people you really don't know.

Imagine the only family you've known talking about your going away?

Yes.. It's going to be rough but after tonight's visit we really need to bite the bullet and do it.

She needs to bond and trust us before we leave. The clock is ticking so we have to move swiftly.

Yes it's been an emotional roller coaster ride day... I'm sure there will be many more like it in our future. But I also know that she will come around.. we just need to be super patient and understanding. Yes she will hate / fear us before she loves / trusts us. It's a fact of life when adopting a 3 year old. Old enough to feel / see the difference but not old enough to understand the difference.

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I've decided I'm not going to sugar coat this process as I know many adoption blogs are sugar coated. I was always grateful to those parents who shared such information as it's helped me to prepare mentally and emotionally to deal with it.

This process is not for the faint of heart. These are real children with real emotions.

It takes a tremendous amount of inner strength to handle it. Strength I wasn't sure I had until I met Tamara. She is worth every tear, every sleepless night. And in the end I know in my heart she'll be ok. She will be a loving, generous little spirit.

I finally understand what my mother meant when she said.

"This will hurt me more then it does you."

It took 40+ years but I finally get it. ;o)

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Below is a picture of Tamara and one of her little neighbor friends who came to visit.

So cute.. reminded me of my baby buddy Desi (read do you remember?)

If I could give one piece of advice to parents who are considering adopting from another country it would be learn the basics in their language.

A simple "I love you" can make a huge difference in your child.

I never imaged Tamara would understand as much as she does. Which is wonderful but it also puts more of a demand on us to communicate with her in Georgian. Especially during this transition phase.

For those who are not familiar Georgian is a very unique language. It is NOT Russian at all.

Before I sign off as it's really late here and Mommy needs her beauty sleep badly these days. lol

When we were in Munich waiting to board our flight to Tbilisi there were some women chatting away in Georgian to a man who was answering them but I could understand every word he said but not the women? Weird huh? Anyway... I told Bruce.. I said this is weird I can understand the man but not the women. I got excited thinking wow maybe I do know more Georgian then I thought...lol. Bear in mind I was very sleep deprived after at 8 pm take off from Newark, flight to Munich about 8 hours, a 10 hour lay over. About 2 hours of sleep and at least a pot of coffee.

When we were boarding the man was behind us so I asked him what language he was speaking. Are you ready for this? Croatian...lol.. he was speaking Croatian and they were answering in Georgian. What are the chances of that working? Too weird.

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