What we can expect...

What we can expect...

I recieved an email tonight from our agency... last minute couching you might say.

I'm going to post parts of the email as I think it's important for family and friends to understand what this is really like. It is also important for them to understand that we ARE going to be following the agencies advice.

PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!!!!

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have you> bought some pull-ups for the trip home? Have them> explain to her that it's special travel underwear> because sometimes it's hard to find a bathroom. Newly> adopted toddlers tend to become more babyish when they> first get home, it's part of bonding with the new> family. Emotionally you want her to go back to infancy> and redevelop as your daughter, bonded with you. Part> of this backsliding might be wetting at night so some> pull-ups around isn't a bad thing.

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Tamara is very shy and not really used to getting her> needs met ever, more less immediately. The foster> mother does really well but she has special needs kids> to care for who require more care than Tamara. She may> not know how to react to being the center of attention> at first. While you're bonding with her everything> should come from the parents, even if it's a gift from> someone else it should be handed to her by you. The> other person can be there, of course, but it should> come from you. Food should come from you, feed her> from your plate with a fork if possible. Cuddle her> while she drinks out of a sippy cup and don't be> surprised if she starts wanting a bottle. Get her one> and let her drink out of it (with you holding her) at> home. A friend of mine adopted her kids at 8 and 5 and> used these techniques (plus others) and they really> worked. My kids were surprised when we went up to> visit and our gift was presented by the mother but I'd> told them ahead of time and they were fine with it.

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Just remember that she's going to be very nervous and> scared, you'll just need to be patient until she> settles down. She doesn't have normal life coping> skills as she hasn't had a normal life, everything is> a change for her and change isn't always a good thing.> She isn't going to have as many points of reference as> a home-grown child her age would but that means you> get to be there for so many first and to experience so> many of them with her. Often people who adopt toddlers> feel they're about a year behind developmentally and> that's probably about right for her too.

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You must be crawling out of your skin by now, I know> the feeling.

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Thanks Kathy

I've had many adoptive parents and adoption child development experts tell me many of the same things. But you said it so clearly that I had to pass it along.

I hope you don't mind... I really thought it was important and I know that I will not have the time, patience nor energy to debate the bonding process later. As you know it can be exhausting.

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I promised to educate on this blog not just entertain.

I also know there are adoptive parents and there are future adoptive parents who are following along. This part of the process will be of great interest to those who are about to adopt.

Bonding with your child comes 2nd only to their health.

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It's very important that family and friends understand that it isn't personal but our child's bonding process comes before anything or anyone else. I am very serious about this.

I expect everyone to comply with our wishes.

Thank You!

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OK.. enough serious stuff.

We're still packing and cleaning and trying to get ready.

Today I took a few hours to try and make myself look presentable for our daughter.

You know.. once you hit 29 ;o) it becomes a maintenance challenge leaving the country for more then a few weeks.

Hair

Facial

Wax On... Wax Off

Ouch... that hurt!

Tomorrow AM .. manicure /pedicure

Then it's back to packing and packing and weighing the suitcases

Trying to keep them all under 50 lbs. each.

My plan is to be finished by Sunday Eve? Yeah we'll see. lol.

In the meantime I also need to tidy up around here.

So things are tidy when we get home.

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We also had a nice visit with our neighbors tonight. It's really nice to see how genuinely happy and excited they are for us.

Thanks for the earrings guys and yes ASH we'll try and bring you some Vodka .

Although??? I think they're more into wine in Georgia?

Good Night!

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