Our stroller broke somewhere between Munich and JFK so we bought her a new one.
I think Mommy may need a bigger car? So much for cargo space?
Here we are strolling along our road.
This is her Pouting chair... she goes to it was she's been naughty. Something she started?
Mean Mommy won't let her go out in the Summer heat and humidity?
OK... I'm getting up now...
Now she'll let me...
Please... please Mommy?
Tamara excited catching butterflies with her Elfin game.
Thanks Jane & Jessie .. the game is a hit! ;o)
Tamara is a doll.. no doubt about it.
She far exceeds what we had hoped.. prayed for in a daughter. I was told and had read that after a while she will start to test her boundaries and us... well she must be advanced as she has been doing so the last 3-4 days.
My little angel is now somewhat of a picky eater? Hum... so soon? And she does have mini melt downs when she doesn't get her way.. right away? Hum... so soon?
So while little Miss Sunshine practices pushing Mommy's buttons. Something I am told she will probably continue to do for the next 16 years or so? Mommy is finding some humor in her some what predictable toddler behavior. Perhaps the hardest part is that she will cry if I leave her even for a short time (minutes... like 1-2 or less?). On the upside I should lose some weight... I'm calling it the "toddler diet". Tamara prefers what Mommy is eating even if it's exactly the same. Tamara can feed herself and usually will until she sees Mommy picking up Mommy's fork... then Tamara hands me her fork for me to feed her. If it's something she likes she will insist that I give her mine as well. On the other hand if it's something she doesn't like she tries to feed it to me. Nice huh?
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Things they don't tell you about Toddler adoptions. Toddlers want to try everything yesterday. Toddlers already have a little personality. They have very definite likes and dislikes. Toddlers hold grudges.. yes they do.. they may not last very long but they pout, shout, stump their feet and throw things. Tamara doesn't do this often (maybe once a day) but when she does.. she's too cute to ignore. Bed time is getting more difficult.. probably because the schedule has been messed with this week? We'll get her back on track.
So while we work on getting to know our daughter we can see signs in her behavior that are a reflection of what her life was like before. For example Tamara is potty trained. In the past 3 weeks she's had two minor accidents which happen by the potty when she could no longer hold it. She became hysterically upset when this happen and watched me to see if I was going to punish her? Interesting? She also gets very upset if she spills something .. and also watches to see if I'll punish her? Interesting... very interesting.
I had asked the staff while in Georgia how they discipline children in Georgia. Not the staff specifically but the general population in Georgia. Corporal punishment is apparently still the norm there. I suspected as much before even asking. While in the USA it is not socially acceptable nor legal to physically beat children it remains so in many parts of the world. The thought of what must go on in the orphanages around the world is very upsetting. When you visit an orphanage and see the level of discipline / order it takes to control / train the children of which there are many. You see the intense level of structure / schedule that the children become accustomed to. I hesitate in commenting on this method of discipline as their jobs are over whelming and their methods based on hundreds if not thousands of years worth of experience and custom. However the thought of these precious babies being physically punished breaks my heart. And it just reminds me of how important it is to support through training / awareness / understanding as well as providing the orphanage staff with the essential tools they need to preform their every day tasks. The less stressed the staff = less stressed children = better adjusted adults they become = better planet Earth. The math is simple... the task is great.
It reminds me that something as simple as a truck load of diapers could reach out and sooth more then a tiny tush. How stressful do you think it would be to be the official diaper changer in a baby house if you were about the run out or have already done so? 20-30-50 babies need changing and you're down to your last box? Hum... do you think maybe you might loose it for a second? Might raise your voice? Be a little rougher changing the little ones? You may think ... No... never but you might. Especially if it were allowed and if your own parents / primary care giver did years ago.
I'm bringing this delicate subject up as I think adoptive parents and others need to be aware. Again not to criticize the care givers but to help them. Adoptive parents... if they choose to be.. are in a very unique position. They can help the children they leave behind. And in many cases they can see the facility, meet the staff and access the situation. Which can then help the next family going overseas. For the "others" .. education / awareness is power. Please support these parents as many of you have supported our fundraiser.
As for Tamara I suspect she was physically disciplined over the last 3+ years. She's starting to relax in some ways and stress a bit in others. I don't think she knows what to make of us. I can see her little wheels turning.
"hum... if I cry they pick me up?"
"hum... Am I allowed to spill stuff here? Mommy says it's OK... please don't cry"
"hum... there's a draw full of Pull Ups? Maybe I don't use enough?"
Our little girl is amazing. She plays very well with others both children and adults. She shares what she has happily yet can hold her own when need be.
Yes... we're very proud of our little angel. Now if we could just get her talking. Yes I know some day I will be eating my words. I suspect one day soon she will start talking and there will be no stopping her. When that day comes and she won't stop chatting away and asking a million questions non stop. I'll look back on these days and remind myself how lucky we are and how much we longed for those first precious words.
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