Malibu Girls Welcome Tamara...

Malibu Girls Welcome Tamara

There's something about the anticipation of a Junior Malibu Girl. ;o)

Tonight my Malibu girls surprised me with a Malibu style baby shower at the Boat House in Stillwater NJ. A wonderful restaurant for those who are local. Yes it's water front... yes the food is great and yes of course they do make Malibu Bay Breezes ;o).

After a wonderful meal, several toasts and much laughter I was presented with many wonderful gifts from Tamara's Malibu Aunties. And a wonderful cake welcoming Tamara. Michelle had her pastry chef make it and it was excellent. Bruce really enjoyed his piece when I got home.

After loading up the car with the help of the owners of the Boat House we returned to the restaurant / bar area where we were entertained by some very colorful characters. lol. Who is Curtis Hamilton was the big question of the evening. He's somebody ... I can feel it. lol

OK.. inside joke... but my girls are smiling ;o)

Thank You girls... I really appreciate your generosity towards our daughter, your welcoming her into the fold even before she arrives means more then words can express.

And YES I was surprised... not shocked as you're all special ladies... but surprised. ;o)

It was really great seeing Lou Lou (you out there yet Lou Lou?) and Joanne.

Over all a really fun night and just the kind of stress reliever I needed.

Thank You Janet, Michelle and Debbie for planning such a special night.

~~~

Paper trail update... another set of documents are on their way to Trenton.

Georgia wants us there quickly... just waiting for US immigration?

Breakfast with Tamara....

Breakfast With Tamara

(Video.. Hit > to play above)

This is for Sondra who scolded me today for not having something new and exciting on the blog this morning to go with her coffee. ;o)

As she put it "the last time I checked you still had rocks in your pocket."

LOL

Better in my pocket then in my head I suppose? LOL

Coffee anyone? I'm buying ;o)

OK.. we'll get serious here.

Every Wednesday between 1 and 4 pm adoptive parents are able to call US immigration to check on the status of their paper work. So I do, did and will continue to until we get what we need. Unfortunately I was told that last week our file was placed on some one's desk for processing that went on vacation during the Easter Holiday week break. Yes another Grrrr moment.

On the Georgian front... their government has had the completed paper work in country since yesterday morning and already today I was emailed a letter stating that our dossier has been approved and they are ready to proceed. So tomorrow I have yet another letter Notarized and then again off to Trenton we go for the official seal of approval. Two more letters to Georgia and we're set on their end.

Come on USA... our baby is counting on you.

Please

~~~

Oh yes.. check the Baby Tea Party posting... we've added a few pictures.

&

On the right hand side bar I've added some blogging ABC's to make your lives easier.

Enjoy!

Do you remember?

What do you remember? People are always amazed when I start to recall my earliest memories. Like this picture of me I was just a little bit older then Tamara is now. I can remember being on the balcony in Rijeka Croatia .. finding tiny little round pebbles in Mom's rose plant behind me and putting them in my pocket. In fact I was frustrated in this picture because I decided it wasn't the best place for them and I couldn't get them out again.

An email I received from our agency got me thinking today. What will Tamara remember? I was told the facilitator stopped by her foster home to see how she was doing and she found Tamara outside playing with her friends. Chatting away? That was great news as we arranged to have their best speech therapist work with her the last few months. It worked ;o) now if she could only speak English. lol. The weather in Georgia has been wonderful lately so I was happy to hear she was able to enjoy it. And thrilled that she was having a good time and I may regret saying this in 6 months or so but yes happy she is chatting away.

Will she remember playing with her friends? Will she remember pebbles in her pocket? Will she always wonder what happen to her friends? When I was her age I had a best friend Desi who lived across the street. Desi's dog had puppies. I can remember playing with them. I can remember Desi's Grandmother... she was nice to me. I can remember not wanting to go home when Mom called me cause we were having so much fun. I often wonder what happen to Desi? Mom thinks she moved to Switzerland? I wonder? I wonder if Desi remembers me?

OH Ducky...

Happy Easter Every One

This would have been our 15th Annual Easter Dinner..

which I decided not to host this year. As we really didn't know for sure if we would be traveling soon. Those of you who have attended our annual Easter dinner I'm sure can understand why I stepped down this year. Weeks of preparation usually go into it. From decorating the house both inside and out to preparing the perfect 8 course meal.

Hosting the annual Easter Egg hunt for the nieces and nephews and setting a unique table theme every year. Yes it is a sit down. From 13 to ... I believe the largest table was in 2000 when we had 26 people. That was the year I decided to take espresso and cappuccino off the menu. lol. Did you ever make 26 cups in a row? Eeek... not a good idea. Especially once our guests started asking for refills.

Fresh flowers every where. It takes time... a lot of it.

In some ways it was sad to break the tradition. When I think back over the years the good times we had. The friends and relatives that had attended. And when I think of the themes I picked. LOL... Anyone remember the LIVE Pom Pom ducks I bought? Yes... I had the brilliant idea that I would buy a small flock of Pom Pom ducklings as an Easter prop. So I called around and found out Jersey law I have to buy 6 ducklings and pick them up the day after they hatch. Why 6 you wonder? Well I was told that they're social birds and needed friends.

So anyway... My thinking was that I would display them in the house in a pearl encrusted bridal bird cage. After all they were so cute and tiny .. surely they would fit. So I brought them home stopped off at Walmart and purchased a small animal cage, heat lamp and some baby duck food. They were to live in our guest bath until the big day. Little did I know these little ones would grow rapidly in the two weeks before Easter. A daily swim in the bath tub, a quick blow dry and back in the cage under a heat lamp. Within a week they tripled in size. Under protest Bruce agreed to go with me and pick up a bigger cage as they were rapidly out growing the small animal cage. So we bought a bunny hutch. The hutch was placed in the basement by the door so they could enjoy the view. Still under a heat lamp. Bathing at this point was not possible in the tub but they had their own tub which needed fresh water after each of the six took a bath. Did I mention how messy ducks are? Anyway... my thinking and I use that term loosely when telling this story was that they would be a cute Easter decoration and that surely my little nieces and nephews would want one when they saw them. Well Easter came and the kids were thrilled with our Pom Poms for a whopping 5 minutes. Yes... they all remained with us.

So after Easter .. Bruce.. good sport that he is build them a duck coop out side. A 4 X 8 screened home with a sheltered area so they wouldn't get wet when it rained.

Yes I know they're ducks. ;o)

So anyway... now they had a house they needed a place to swim so we bought them a kiddie pool complete with ramp. It was late Spring Summer and I'd let the ducks out every morning and call them back at sun down. Yes they were trainable. But why weren't they flying? Surely they would fly south for the winter? So we had flying lessons.. to no avail. They couldn't stay up for more then 15-20 feet before a crash landing. A very humorous site especially watching Bruce flap his arms running full throttle down hill with all six chasing after him.

Like I said a very good sport. lol . I think he would have done anything to make these guys fly away.

It wasn't until late Fall that I ran into the young man who sold me the ducks and it was his Dad that told me that our ducks would never fly. Their wings were clipped at birth? Grrrr.

What happen to our flock of special needs ducks? I found a local farmer that wanted them for eggs and swore that they would never be eaten.

So that's just an example of what can happen when you think too far out of the box.

To this day I can't get myself to eat duck :o(

OK.. back to reality... Mom & Dad hosted Easter Dinner this year.

Thanks Mom for getting me off the hook. Dinner was of course wonderful and fun was had by all.

Hopefully Tamara will like socializing and once she's adjusted we can resume our entertaining schedule. I know many of you have expressed an interest in our Easter Dinner as well as our Holiday House Warming.

~~~

Paper work ... Still Waiting

A Baby Tea...

Special Thanks to Lorraine for the bound picture book I found in our mailbox Wednesday from Saturday's Baby Tea Party. Very nicely done and very much appreciated.

Here are a few pictures as promised.

Today we had an unexpected surprise.

The ladies in our neighborhood got together and threw me a

Surprise Baby Tea Shower at the Tea Hive in Newton.

It was the perfect setting for such an event. Ultra feminine and ever so yummy.

It was especially nice to see their daughters in attendance.

I must say we have some of the nicest young ladies on our block.

In fact if it wasn't for them turning out so well I might not have had the courage to get one of my own ;o).

So I Thank You ALL my fellow tea drinkers, friends and neighbors.

Your generous spirit and open arms are very much appreciated and will not be forgotten anytime soon.

Tamara .. my dear... you have a whole collection of tiaras waiting for you.

LOL

Did you know there's even a Rub a Dub Dub... Tiara in the Tub kit?

I didn't know that? I don't have a water proof tiara... but Tamara does. ;o)

So Kisses to Denise, Ali, Lorraine, Sarah, Jane, Jessie and Barbara

I had a wonderful time... you all have excellent taste..of course ;o)

I'm sure Tamara will enjoy your gifts for years to come.

And yes Lorraine when Tamara has a party at Build A Bear you'll be invited.

You're too funny!!!

Hopefully I'll have a picture or two from the event to share in a day or two?

HINT...HINT

~~~

Sometimes I'd like to...

OK.. I thought I was finished posting for today and then this came through via email.

Had to share.

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why he allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when he could do something about it but I am afraid he might ask me the same thing."

Kind of hits home doesn't it?

~~~

OH.. FYI.. We're in the WAIT phase again. Documents are on a plane.

Terrible Two's?

I spent a good part of today shopping... yes I know.. what a surprise.

Anyway.. let me tell you about my day.

I set out to buy a few gifts, some Easter treats for my nieces and nephews and of course something cute for Tamara ;o)

First let me say I totally forgot that since it was Good Friday that the men were out shopping with their wives. WHY? Now don't get me wrong they do come in handy.. but if you must take the man along you really owe it to the rest of us to train him before he leaves the house.

For some reason there are men who don't follow the rules in stores and in parking lots.

So lets review... shall we?

Gentlemen if you're going to shop please do so. I've had to go around more men that found a "buddy" today and insisted on chatting in the center of the aisle or right in front of the display that interested me.

When I say "excuse me" It's a polite way of saying "move please".

It is NOT a code word for "hey baby pinch my butt" or "come closer".

Yeah.. it's been one of those days.

Next those shopping carts are just that.. shopping carts. They are not go carts. If you can reach the handle bar you are too big to ride in one or on one. And no that is no longer considered cute.

Stores have a flow... please do not go against traffic. Speaking of traffic there is such a thing as parking lot etiquette. If I got there first, had my blinker on.. don't even think you can intimidate me with your huge SUV.

Oh yes.. the children... guys when you tell your wife you have them... she thinks you're serious.

OK.. Thanks for letting me vent.. I feel much better now. ;o)

So anyway.. I did manage to find everything I was looking for and of course a few cute thing for Tamara. Like two bikinis (someone might as well wear one around here..lol) So cute!!!

A really beautiful ballerina style dress. A growth chart for her room. Very pretty hand painted canvas... looks like a piece of artwork. Really cool.

And I ran into three Mothers with young children. One had a two year old, one had a three year old and the last was a four year old. All three Mom's said their child was going through a terrible two stage. So my question to all the seasoned parents out there is ...when do the terrible two's actually occur? Just trying to brace myself. lol

Have you had your Kiva today?

If you see this cute little girl on Kiva.org it's me.

I'm happy to report that Kiva has made it to Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina.

I've been a member of Kiva since April 2007 and this is the first time I noticed loans within the former Yugoslavia. Woohoo.. finally.

Kiva is a micro lending organization. It's not a hand out but a hand up. In the past year I've added small business owners to my portfolio from all over the world. From a Ana Rosa in Mexico that needed a small loan to start her at home cosmetic sales business to Sayaad Ahamad in Afghanistan who needed help with his grocery store in Kabul, Afghanistan. They both already repaid their loans. When they did it made my day! Not that I lent them a great deal of money but that it worked. I was able to help someone who really needed a boost.

Now we have people in Azerbaijan, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Pakistan, and Alma in Bosnia and Herzegovina. So exciting.

If you've been to our house in the last year you may have noticed an 8 X 10 glossy of all my Kiva people on the frig. I keep it there as a reminder that yes I can make a difference.

Remember

"To the world you might be just one person. But to one person you might mean the world."

One of the many values I'd like to instill in our daughter is be charitable.

I've read that children who are adopted from an orphanage setting may suffer from survivors guilt. It can be hard to cope if they know other children were left behind.

That is one of the reasons for the orphanage fund raiser. I want Tamara to know that we will not forget her little friends. Nor will we forget that there are millions of children world wide that need help. Some are truly orphans and others like many of the Kiva families have parents that are trying but due to their circumstances struggle to feed, clothe and can not afford to send their children to school. Remember in most 3rd world countries schools are not free.

It is considered a luxury to attend school.

I want our daughter to be proactive not just reactive.

I want her to appreciate what we have and not take things for granted.

I want her to understand that the more you give ..the more comes back to you. Not really sure how that works but it does. I've been testing this theory for years. It's truly amazing.

While Tamara is young she will play a role in my fund raising. Whether she helps me bake cookies for homeless children, helps me tie a bow for a tricky tray basket or helps deliver Christmas gifts to a needy family my hope is that she will learn at a very early age what it feels like to help someone who truly needs it.

After all learning to share is important at any age.

~~~

Paper chase update... Documents were picked up by DHL today..

they're on their way to Georgia. ;o)

Another Big Push...

I think my friend Mary said it best. In January when I told her we had excepted a child referral for adoption she said "you must be so excited"

"I am" I replied "I'm excited and a little bit nervous" She then said "of course you're a little nervous. You've been pregnant for almost 3 years"

Hurry up and wait... hurry up and wait. I've been hearing this from other adoptive Moms for years never really understanding how intense the "hurry ups" and "waits" really are.

When you have a biological child you always know where you're child is and you have a pretty good idea of when they will arrive. For the most part you're in full control. Then the big day comes. Your water breaks and you go into labor. If I had to compare the two methods of becoming a Mom... I must say "hurry up and wait" would be the contractions. Except when you adopt your contractions can be a week or more apart.

~~~

So we had another big push today. Our Home Studies have arrived signed and sealed from Trenton and tomorrow it will be on it's way to Georgia via DHL. In the mean time I had several conversations with Immigration today. So far so good. Now we WAIT. Again.

Tea Daddy?

This came to me via email a few weeks ago from Judy C. in Florida. I thought it was soo cute and funny I thought I'd share it. To all you Daddies out there pay attention.. there's a lesson to be learned here. Enjoy!

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??' And sure enough........!!!

A Baby Asked ...

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?'

God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.

'The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.'

God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?'

God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'
'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?'

God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.

''Who will protect me?'

God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.

''But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.'

God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

*** Came in an email from Sondra

I heard a Buzz

I heard a buzz today at church that some of you maybe having issues leaving a comment post.

Thanks for the heads up Shirley.

I have since loosened the security measures on our blog. In an effort to make it more user friendly for friends and family.

Please feel free to post your comments. Part of the fun of blogging is feedback.

I think you'll find that the communication between readers and bloggers can be very entertaining.

So have fun with this. Stop back often and share in the excitement as we prepare to bring our baby home.

~~~

Paper Trail Update

Our Dossier should be on a plane to Georgia. Being hand carried.

Our final Home Study is in Trenton.

Soon as it comes back to us (FEDEX) it too will be flying over to Georgia.

We're making progress.

Tamara Sunday

Happy Palm Sunday Everyone.

Did you know that the name Tamara means Palm or Spice?

Yes she is and will be the Spice of Life for us and she will be our little Princess.

Here is a little history about the name Tamara.

Tamara is a name for girls originated from Herbew and it means date palms. Historical background of this name is that this name belonged to the daughter of King David and sister of king Absolom.

See I told you... a Princess ;o)

In Russian it means Palm Tree

TAMARA
Gender: Feminine
Usage: Russian, English
Other Scripts: Тамара (Russian)
Pronounced: tah-MAH-rah (Russian), ta-MA-ra (English) [key]
Russian form of TAMAR. The name can also mean "spice" in Sanskrit.

OK That's your language history lesson for today.

Oh Mama...

Thought I'd share another picture.

This one is for you Bebia and P'ap'a = Grandma and Grandpa

Deda = mother and mama = father ?

This is going to be one confused kid... this is according to the Georgian / English Dictionary that arrived this week. Anyone speak Georgian out there that can confirm this?

Can't wait to tell Bruce he may have to answer to Mama ;o)

You just can't make this stuff up. lol

He's Back....

Bruce came home just in time to run to FedEx with me before they closed.

Our Dossier is on it's way to California and then will be hand carried to Georgia.

Talk about service.

Having trouble keeping it straight yet? LOL

Yeah me too but this is a good thing... a very good thing.

Hurry Up and Wait...

Tamara's First Dolly

Dressed and Ready to Travel.
(An Italian baby doll that fits American Girl Bitty Baby clothes. She is much lighter then Bitty baby and therefore is more travel friendly. Tamara will of course have the matching outfit complete with sunglasses.)

Yesterday I packed up all of Tamara's clothing, Health and Beauty products, and toys for the trip. One large suitcase, 1 medium. Had to split every thing up into two suitcases in case one gets lost. So we basically have two identical bags. Different outfits/ same # as. This kid does not travel light.... just like her mommy ;o)
So what's the difference between the two bags you wonder? The large one has a pre-stuff diaper bag for the trip home.


This has been an interesting week for me.

Bruce is away on a business trip. It occurred to me that this will probably be the LAST week I have the house to myself for an entire week for at least 15 years.

"WOW"

Adopting a child when it's your first sort of feels like getting married.
Minus the pretty dress, flowers and parties.
A lot of "this is the last time I can do ..."
And there is a identity change that takes place.
I used to be Lee. A Free spirit. Going where the wind takes me.
Then I married. And although he's an easy going guy I felt a sense of obligation to at least let him know which direction the wind was blowing.
Now... becoming a Mom I will no longer be just Lee or Mrs. K.
I will be Tamara's Mommy.
So much for the wind?
I realize as a Mom I'll have to avoid those sudden gusts and seek shelter.
It's going to be a little weird at first I imagine.
~~~


So Anyway.. we're in that Hurry up and wait phase. We're waiting.
I just spoke to our NJ social worker who informed me everything is going fine.
Our home study is on it's way to INS / Homeland Security
I have two copies that are coming to us and one to California.
Once I get our copies I have Trenton put their seal of approval on them and away they go to Georgia along with the rest of the Dossier.

Still need one more finger printing done before we travel which I hope we can do next week? Glad they didn't call us this week as Bruce is away and that could have been a huge issue. When you get these appointments you have to show up.. especially when you're calling in favors to get it done quickly.


Oh yes... I expect Hubby to return tonight... so if you were thinking I need a bachlorette party or something like... too late ;o)

Need a Boost?

So many packages... so little time.

Today was fun. My orders are starting to trickle in.

Booster seat so Tamara can dine at the big table with Mommy and Daddy.

A Gate check Stroller bag, about a case of J&J baby products and can someone explain these cotton training pants to me? I don't get it...lol. They're cotton and thick. Diaper thick.. but still cotton? And still pants. Weird.

Think we'll stick with pull ups.

I just don't get it.

Saghamo mshvidobisa

Saghamo mshvidobisa

Good Evening / Night

in Georgian.

Yes our language course arrived today.

OMG what were they thinking? lol. Actually it's not so bad.

Just wish I had more time to study up. ok I'm going to get some Chai (tea) and going to Satsoli (bed). Didi madloba (Thank You Very Much)

Nakhvamdis (Good Bye) ;o)

And The Award Goes To ...

I'd like to take a moment and Thank all the Professional and Personal Contacts that have helped us get this far with our sanity intact. Yes... I'm still sane. Really ;o)

Thank you friends and family for being supportive through the "years" and country changes.

Special Thank You to all those who offered to be either personal or professional references. I know I had a lot of you on stand by for over 2 years. Thank you for not changing your minds within those years. It's nice to know our friends still think we're worthy. lol. As it turns out we needed 3 personal references. Special Thanks to Denise and Ash - (neighbors/friends), Sharon & Jim and Darren and Kelly (friends). These couples wrote awesome letters for us. And they were extremely co-operative. I had all 3 within 48 hrs. Awesome job!!! When I read one of them I started to tear up and said to Bruce "are we this nice?" his response was "Nah... she's just a really good writer" lol

Thank You ... Stephen ... Sir ;o)

And Mr. Rudy... I haven't seen you since PRHS. When this is over we'll have to have you over for dinner. Mac & Cheese OK? Tamara might be cooking. ;o) Just kidding! I heard that gasp. Although I bet Mac & cheese tastes better on China.

To my friends... My Malibu Girls for being supportive and excited with me for yes 2+ years.

Thanks Deb for becoming a notary for me and going to the Dr's. office.

Special Thanks to my young Mommy friends who take my calls no matter how silly. Like the other day I called 3 to find out the average # of bowel movements their toddlers have so I know how many pull ups to pack. They've also been awesome with suggestions for toddler equipment & child proofing. And since you all have sons... I know that Tamara will always have a Prom date. ;o)

Thanks Sis... for your medical expertise over the years. Jay has reviewed numerous reports and videos with me over the years. She too has her share of silly phone calls.

Thank You Tariq of ZAST Nutraceuticals' for reviewing the videos and medical reports with your team.

You can check out Zast's new Mega Digest at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAVXxJymjFU

This stuff really works!!!

Dr. Jane Aronson NYC. She's a tough cookie but that's why we pay her the big bucks. Thank You ;o)

Thank You Shobi .. You're a good friend.

Thank You to all my online friends. You have been very supportive and your encouragement and friendship is very much appreciated.

An EXTRA SPECIAL Thank You to my online friend Nancy from Ohio who sent me the referral for our daughter with a note that said "didn't you say you wanted a 3 year old?" Nancy will be traveling shortly to Kazakhstan to pick up her 14 year old baby girl. Many of you may have heard me talking about the knitting group. Nancy is the back bone of Mittens for Akkol. http://www.mittensforakkol.com/ . Awesome organization.

Special Thanks to my professional team. Kathy, Irina, Pat & Andrea. You along with the Georgian staff are doing what many thought was impossible in such a short time frame. I can't Thank You enough. More about these ladies later. ;o)

And last but not least... I'd like to Thank all the adoptive parents who have been so supportive, kind and willing to help sharing information to bring our daughter home. Women like Filomina who adopted her son last July from Georgia. Same age as Tamara... hey another Prom date. ;o)She calls me a few times a week checking in to offer advice and chat. Checks my sanity level.

OK... Think that's it? As you can see we've had a great deal of support.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say Thank You before Tamara comes home.

Just in case if I get a little busy after.

A Great Day in the neighborhood

This morning we heard from our assistant social worker Andrea. Great news all our clearances are back and she was typing up our "official" Home Study. We should have it in a few days. Still needs two signatures, a notary and Trenton's seal of approval. And it "The Dossier" hard copy officially goes to Georgia.

Also .. more great news. Sandy made it to Kaz. Her 4 flights turned into 5 (weather issues) but she made it safely. Woman's Day is being celebrated in Kaz so she will have to wait a few more days to meet her baby girl. She did mention that there was a man at the airport that gave all the woman a long stem rose for Woman's Day! How sweet!!! That never happen to me at Newark ... how about you?

Hi Welcome to our world...

Many of you have heard there would be an adoption blog coming... well here it is.

Just a few house keeping tips in case you're not familiar with how they work.

Last posting is first ..on top.. so you have some catching up to do.

You are welcome to leave comments after each post. Just please keep in mind that someday the entire blog will be transformed into a bound book for Tamara. So please keep it clean ;o)

At the bottom is a video bar. There should be videos of the Republic of Georgia. Should you see different ones REFRESH the page and they should appear. When viewing the videos you may want to mute the music first so you can hear the videos.

When we travel we will be posting updates from Georgia so you can all follow along on our journey. Please feel free to post comments as it will be great to hear from our friends and families from around the world as we plunge into parenthood. OK... I'm done for today... ENJOY!!!

I had a Brilliant Idea...

Nina Ananiashvili & the State Ballet of Georgia

As I researched The Republic of Georgia the other day I found out that their prima ballerina will be back in Tbilisi in April having returned from a world wind tour. So I thought hum... I like the ballet. I bet Tamara would as well as the Foster mom's Bio 10 year old daughter and neighbor's daughter that Tamara is friends with. So I'm hoping to arrange a girl's night out ;o) . Bruce of course will join us as will the translator and perhaps the nanny? Wish me luck in arranging this extra special evening at the Tbilisi Ballet and Oprah house.

Then in a few years when Tamara is taking ballet we can take her to see the same ballerina in NYC. Pretty cool idea don't you think?

One of the many things we'll need to pack is gifts for the staff in Georgia. Everyone from the facilitator to the driver, foster mom, foster siblings and friends gets a gift from Tamara before we leave. For Tamara's little friends I thought a night at the ballet would be a well received treat and a very memorable evening that I'm sure they will all cherish for the rest of their lives.

Thank Heaven for little girls ... I finally got Bruce to agree to go to the ballet.

Where are we now...

We're in a sort of waiting mode this week.

Our Dossier is ready for Georgia. Dossier is a French word for a bunch of documents. Everything has been apostilled in Trenton and Madison and is ready to roll. Apostil is the notary for the notary. Every document has to have this done for international adoptions now.

Just waiting for our NJ Home study report to arrive. Not sure but I think they're waiting for the Ceries report and perhaps the FBI / Homeland Security clearance? But everything else is ready and waiting.

We also filed our I600A with immigration and are waiting for our next finger printing appointment and I 600 which is basically the US gov. giving permission to us to bring Tamara home.

Then our Dossier gets OK'd in Georgia and when we're issued a court date we travel. I emailed our Dossier to Georgia last week for translation and gave power of attorney to our Georgian lawyer so he could go speak to the judges and get things moving.

We are supposed to be traveling in April so things will be moving along at lightening speed. We hope.



In the mean time we're starting to pack. Bought 2 new 5pc luggage sets a week ago. We'll be gone for 2-3 weeks but as you can imagine we need to bring a tremendous amount of stuff with us. Beyond the basics for us we also have to bring medications (just in case). Lots of health and beauty products and even protein bars for energy. For Tamara we need clothing, health & beauty products ( that's what we call J&J baby lotion at our house ). A stroller, traveling aides such as special harnesses for planes, toys, movies, things to entertain her. Pull -ups ... yes my baby is potty trained ;o) . And healthy snacks and sippy cups. The list goes on and on so I won't bore you. But imagine you're going to a foreign country where you don't know the language... certainly have no hope of learning how to read or recognize the words in such a short time as their alphabet is so unlike ours. Now add in 2 food allergies. One for each and imagine you have a toddler who doesn't speak your language. You'd bring a tremendous amount of stuff ... just in case. Better safe then sorry on this trip.

Oh yes I found out yesterday that in Georgia they really really like their walnuts. In fact they use them as a thickening agent in soups, sauces and dressings as well as desserts. How much fun that will be with my nut allergy. So when our crash Georgian language course arrives hopefully this week I'll have to learn how to say "If I survive this meal you'll get a much bigger tip" in Georgian. lol . Seriously I am somewhat concerned but I can usually tell with the 1st bite and a shot of Benadrly is usually all it takes. Besides we will have a translator with us most of the time and when at home a cook. Did I mention the Nanny, house keeper and driver? Oh .. we may never come home. ;o)

Last Saturday we got our 1st round of shots.
ouch!!! Arm still hurts. :o( Yeah... I know... I can hear ya "quit being such a baby"

So Exciting!!!

This is getting pretty exciting! One of my friends that I met when we first started researching Kazakhstan is on her way to meet her baby girl. She left Florida yesterday and we heard from her in NYC and then again in Paris on her way to Almaty. 4 flights in all to meet her baby. Congratulations Sandy. Can not wait to see your baby. Safe Travels and lots of hugs.

Dos & Don’ts for Family & Friends of Adoptive Parents

OK... I didn't write this list but an expert did. I Thought it was worth borrowing for our blog in the hope that it will give some who perhaps are not familiar with adoption a little in site as to why we will do the things we do once our daughter is home. Hopefully Tamara will bond quickly but in case she doesn't ... Your co-operation will be greatly appreciated and is expected. Thank You!


Dos & Don’ts for Family & Friends of Adoptive Parents

Do
1. Offer household help (running errands, preparing meals that can go right from the freezer to the oven, etc.) so the mother can spend more time holding the child.
2. Trust the mother’s instincts. Even a first time mother may notice subtle symptoms that well-meaning family and friends attribute to “normal” behavior.
3. Accept that attachment issues are difficult for anyone outside of the mother to see and understand.
4. Be supportive even if you think everything looks fine to you.
5. Allow the parents to be the center of the baby’s world. One grandfather, when greeting his grandson, immediately turns him back to his mom and says positive statements about his good mommy.
6. Tell the baby every time you see her what a good/loving/safe mommy she has.
7. When the parents need someone to care for the baby for a night out, offer to babysit in the child’s home. (After the child has been home for a substantial period of time.)
8. As hard as it may be for you, abide by the requests of the parents. Even if the baby looks like she really wants to be with Grandma, for example, she needs to have a strong attachment to her parents first. Something as simple as passing the baby from one person to another or allowing others, even grandparents, to hold a baby who is not “attached” can make the attachment process that much longer and harder. Some parents have had to refrain from seeing certain family members or friends because they did not respect the parents’ requests.
9. Accept that parenting children who are at-risk for or who suffer from attachment issues goes against traditional parenting methods and beliefs. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues.
10. Remember that there is often a honeymoon period after the child arrives. Many babies do not show signs of grief, distress, or anxiety until months after they come home. If the parents are taking precautions, they are smart and should be commended and supported!


Don’t
1. Assume an infant is too young to suffer from emotional issues related to attachment. Babies are not immune.
2. Underestimate a new mother’s instincts that something isn’t right.
3. Judge the mother’s parenting abilities. What looks like spoiling or coddling may be exactly what the child needs to overcome a serious attachment disorder. Parenting methods that work for many children can be detrimental to a child with attachment issues.
4. Make excuses for the child’s behaviors or try to make the mother feel better by calling certain behaviors “normal”. For example, many children who suffer from attachment issues may be labeled strong-willed by well-meaning family members. While being strong-willed can be seen as a positive personality trait, this type of behavior in an attachment-impaired child may signify problems.
5. Accuse the mother of being overly sensitive or neurotic. She is in a position to see subtle symptoms as no one else can.
6. Take it personally if asked to step back so the parents can help their child heal and form a healthy and secure attachment. You may be asked not to hold the baby for more than a minute. This is not meant to hurt you. It is meant to help prove to the baby who his mommy and daddy are. Up until now the child’s experience has been that mommies are replaceable. Allowing people to hold the baby before he has accepted his forever mommy and daddy are can be detrimental to the attachment process.
7. Put your own time frames on how long attachment should take. One mother was hurt when she was chastised by a relative who couldn't’t understand…after all, the baby had been home six months. It could take weeks, months, even years. Every child is different.
8. Offer traditional parenting advice. Some well-meaning family members will tell a new mother not to pick the baby up every time she cries because it will spoil her. A child who is at-risk or who suffers from attachment issues must be picked up every single time she cries. He needs consistent reinforcement that this mommy/daddy will always take care of her and always keep her safe.
9. Fall into the appearance trap. Some babies/toddlers with attachment issues can put on a great show to those outside of the mother/father. What you see is not always a true picture of the child. Even babies as young as 6-months-old are capable of “putting on a good face” in public.
10. Lose hope. With the right kind of parenting and therapy, a child with attachment issues can learn to trust and have healthy relationships. But it does take a lot of work and a good understanding of what these children need.
Thanks for reading!

Fund Raiser For The Kids

Just a reminder that you still have time to help the children that we unfortunately will have to leave behind at the orphanage when we visit. See count down counter on right side bar. To all the good Friends and Family members who have shopped and / or sent checks. We Thank You from the bottom of our hearts. Through your generous donations we will be able to donate many much needed items to the Baby House. Children ages 0 - 3. These funds will be donated in addition to our donation. With any luck I will be allowed to take a few pictures at the baby house and share them with you on this Blog while we're in country.

If you haven't had a chance to visit my Suzanne site and go shopping please do so. 25-40% of retail will be donated to the orphanage which is 100% of my profits. Order online and your order will be drop shipped to your home via FedEx.

http://www.suzanne24.com/lee

Oh... enough of this white stuff

Winter... It's getting old already. Amazingly it's warmer in The Republic of Georgia then it is here. Thought I'd share a few pictures of Hummingbird Haven in the snow.

We've been Nesting for over 2 years...

Nesting...

Some of you thought I was crazy? Some said it's bad luck? The old agencies all said they expected to see nesting. The wanted to see her room finished. Toys, books and clothing. So I shopped and shopped and painted and shopped. Nesting when you switch countries as often as we did wasn't easy. With each country change we had a age change. And with each country change we knew our daughter would have a different ethnic look. So what does a mother do? Well you buy dolls with every ethnic look just in case and you buy clothing in all the sizes. Since Tamara is 3 but the size of a 2 year old she will fit in everything sooner or later. Her closets are full from 18 mo. to size 6X. Someone once said to me why do you need to bring clothing? This woman thought it was horrible that the adopted children don't come with clothing. So I asked her when your children were born did they come into the world wearing a snow suit?

Reality is when you adopt a 3 year old you need a lot of stuff. Especially a child who spent 2-1/2 years in an orphanage. Most of these children have never seen all the every day things that we take for granted. So safety first. Although she is 3 and yes her motor skills are great we do need to baby proof the house. Perhaps more so then if we had her since birth. She will be able to reach more and get there faster. So the baby gates are ready to go up. The outlet plugs are ready and we have spinning door knobs every where.

I decorated her room in Waverly Sweet Violets. I decided to stay away from the traditional bubble gum pink as I'm sure there will be plenty of that in our future. Right now she has a full size bed which we may change in the future to a twin or toddler size bed? We're keeping the full size for now adding bed rails for safety as she is probably used to co-sleeping with someone. That would be me ... I'm sure Bruce will enjoy my side of our bed for a month or two. Most adoptive parents put a crib in their room or co-sleep in their bed but I think it will be easier for me to slip out of her room rather then get Tamara used to sleeping in ours and then try to move her. That's the plan anyway.

We're Extremely Fortunate

We're extremely fortunate to have gotten over 20 video clips of Tamara during the referral process. We're also received countless photos. This is very unusual for an adoption referral. Usually adoptive parents either get one or two photos or travel on a blind referral.

Having these videos has helped us a great deal in getting to know our daughter even before we travel to meet her. Below you will find three videos of Tamara. These were sent to us 24 hrs. after I emailed the Denver Questionnaire which was sent to us by Dr. Aronson in NYC to check Tamara's development. Dr. Aronson is rated as one of the best International adoption pediatricians in the world.

Somethings got lost in the translation. Video # 1 She was to stack blocks, Video #2 She was told to stand on one foot and timed. Video #3 She had to show that she could dress herself.

We love the giggles... she's a cutie

We have gotten videos since these and her hair is starting to come in thicker as well as her lashes. It's amazing the difference we see in just the last couple of months. These children really do respond to proper nutrition and attention. So exciting!!!